Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy: Purity Test

There are only 15 questions so please read them carefully before answering.
Click the radio button next to each answer then select ‘Rate Me’ at the end.

Please be aware that this is NOT just a bit of fun, it is a serious
Sad-Geezer ‘Hitch Hikers Purity’ psychometric test and is based on
your perception, intelligence and social interaction
sort of.  



1.   Zaphod Beeblebrox is:  
  a. A thief and a vagabond
  b. A cool geezer with two heads and three arms
  c. Trillians boyfriend.


This is a scene from:
  a. Episode 5
  b. The dining table at Milliways
  c. Sunday lunch at my house


This character is:
  a. The Vogon Constructor Fleet Captain
  b. That fat geezer Jeltz
  c. A junior Vogon guard


This is a scene from:
  a. A Magrathean custom built planet
  b. A rich fat geezers house
  c. ‘Debbie Does Dallas’


5.   The best birthday present you could get this year would be:  
  a. An Improbability Drive
  b. An invitation to party at rich, fat geezers house
  c. A set of bath towels


Who is this?
  a. Hot Black Dessiatu
  b. Pot Black
  c. Jet Black


7.   You have this tool, it’s about eight inches long. It has a clump of little hairy things at one end.  You insert it into a warm moist opening and wiggle it, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, thrusting it in and drawing it out again and again many times. You recognize the rhythmic, pulsing sounds resulting from the well lubricated movements.   When you finally withdraw, you clean the glistening shaft of the juicy, frothy, sticky white substance and:   
  a. ‘You disgusting PERVERT!, I’m not answering!’
  b. You put the toothbrush back in the holder
  c. ‘Erm…. I need to have a cold shower!’


8.   This is a picture of:  
  a. Some of the clientele at The restaurant at the end of the universe.
  b. Some hoopy people at Milliways
  c. My next door neighbors


9.   You would consider calling your baby son:  
  a. Arthur
  b. Ford
  c. Trillian




  a. A Plutonium Rock Band
  b. The loudest rock band in the galaxy
  c. My bedroom


11.   These are:  
  a. A pair of Galactic Space Police
  b. A pair of sensitive Police thugs
  c. Two of the ‘Village People’


12.   Arthur is from:  
  a. The Earth (that was)
  b. England
  c. Golgafrincham


13.   Zaphod and Ford are:  
  a. part-cousins
  b. lucky to share the same three mothers
  c. friends.



This is:

  a. The Earth girl, Tricia Macmillan
  b. Trillian
  c WOW!! – a really nice outfit!


15.     This is:  
  a. A Golgafrincham Captain
  b. A geezer that has been having a bath for three years!
  c. My dad.







The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy Purity Test is © 1999, 2000 Tony Fawl.
Not for reproduction without the authors express permission


The Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy names, characters and everything else
associated with the series are the property of The British Broadcasting Corporation & Douglas Adams.




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