Battlestar Galactica: Transcripts: S01E09: Tigh Me Up, Tigh Me Down

Galactica – C.I.C.
A drill like device comes out of a lighted white tube. It’s the combat monitors being dropped from the ceiling of the bridge.

Gaeta: (approaching) Commander? Here’s Doctor Baltar’s report. And the President is waiting for you up in the core.
Adama: (glances at it) Thank you.

Adama then looks to the upper deck and sees President Roslin observing him. He gives a little smile and gestures at her with the report, and she smiles back a little too. A moment later Adama walks up to the core.
Adama: (to his men at the controls) Clear the deck. (they do) Madame President, we are the proud owners of the universe’s first bona fide Cylon detector.
Roslin: Well, that is great news.
Adama: Yeah.
Roslin: So, when do we begin?
Adama: Doctor Baltar would like to start widespread testing as soon as possible, but there are some serious limitations. He can only do one person at a time and verification takes hours.
Roslin: So, who’s going to go first?
Adama: (distracted there for a sec) Oh, the tests, right. Well, I think people in sensitive positions should go first.
Roslin: I completely agree. How about you?
Adama: (taken aback) Excuse me?
Roslin: If you’re a Cylon, I’d like to know.
Adama: If I’m a Cylon, you’re really screwed.
Roslin: Seriously. I do think that you should go first. Show everyone in the fleet that they can trust the people at the top.
Adama: Then maybe you should go first. (she says mothing and he quickly relents) All right. I’ll go first.
Roslin: I think that’s good. I do.

Galactica – Observation Deck
Billy and Duella are on their first date sitting and kissing by the large window, and joined by several other young horny couples also “admiring the vastness of space”.
Pilot: (O.S.) Break on my mark.
The Vipers break just as they were closing on the window.
Billy: Whoa… do they always do that?
Dualla: No, they’re just showing off. They know I’m in here.
Billy: Oh?
Dualla: Well, you date a special assistant to the President, word gets out.
Billy: So this is officially a date?
Dualla: Jury’s still out.
The door opens and an officer appears. Behind him, another group of couples can be seen waiting to enter.
Officer: Observation deck, you have two minutes remaining. (closes the doors)
Dualla: You could pull rank. You could tell them you’re on special business for the President of the Colonies.
Billy: Your boss pulls more weight around here than mine. You just tell them Adama wants you to–
Dualla: (nuzzling him) Yeah? What? Wants me to what?
Billy: I lost my train of thought.
Dualla: Mm-hmm. (they kiss)
Billy: How is he these days, by the way?
Dualla: The old man? He’s fine, I guess.
Billy: You guess?
Dualla: Been acting kind of funny lately. Seems distracted or something. He’s been making all these weird calls from his quarters. You know, super-secret.
Billy: It’s probably a security thing.
Dualla: He doesn’t want me to log the calls, though. No trace file, nothing.
Billy: This just started?
Dualla: A few days ago. (suspicious) Billy Keikeya… are you pumping me for information about the old man?
Officer: (entering) Time’s up!
Billy: No… of course not.
Dualla: (playfully) You are, you are. You’re a spy, that’s what you are.
Billy: I’m just asking a couple of questions.
Dualla: Well, I hope you like the answers. Because they’re the last ones… you’re gonna get for a while.

Colonial one – Presidential Area
Roslin: What’d you find out?
Billy: Dualla couldn’t put her finger on it, but yeah, she said he’s been acting differently.
Roslin: I could see that myself, he was distracted and unfocused. What else?
Billy: Some scrambled wireless calls he didn’t want logged. She didn’t know who he called or why. But none of this is damning evidence. The calls could be security related, and his odd behavior could be stress, pure and simple. Exhaustion, paranoia–
Roslin: You’re right, it could be any of those things. But what if it’s not?
Billy: Madame President, with all due respect, I cannot believe that we’re actually entertaining the idea that Commander Adama has been somehow… replaced by a Cylon duplicate.
Roslin: (tearfully) Oh, my gods, Billy, I hope you’re right.

Galactica – Baltar’s Lab
Baltar’s seriously musing over his Cylon detector and his work.
Baltar: Is suicide really a sin?
#6: A mortal one, I’m afraid. But it’s not that bad, is it, Gaius?
Baltar: 47,905 people in the fleet. There’s 47,905 blood samples. 11 hours to test each one for Cylon indicators. Well, that’ll take a while. 21,956 days.
#6: 60.1534 years.
Baltar: Well, now, let’s figure in a few hours for sleep here and there. We’ll call that an even 61, shall we? Sure, I’d prefer to kill myself. Commander Adama… are you a Cylon? Tune in tomorrow.
#6: Oh, it’s hard being a genius. Yes. There should be some perks. (starts having sex with him)
Baltar: Yes.
There’s some moaning and heavy breathing and then Starbucks walks in on Baltar, catching him with his pants down.
Starbuck: What’s up, doc?
Baltar: Lieutenant Thrace. It’s good to see you, I’m just… (trying to pass it off like he’s doing stretches) I’m just keeping up with the old exercises. (putting his pants back on) That should, uh, that should do me– do me for today. Oh– oh, I feel a lot better. Um, what brings you to the lab at this time of the night?
Starbuck: It’s the middle of the afternoon.
Baltar: Yeah, of course it is, crazy workload. I totally– totally lose track of time. So, what can I do for you?
Starbuck: You can zip up your fly.
He looks down and notices his shirt peeking out his fly.
Baltar: (quickly zipping it) So, uh…
Starbuck: My blood test. (hands him her blood sample and walks out)
#6: You’re right about one thing, Gaius: there is something very intriguing about her.
Baltar: Very. Good, very good.

Galactica – Tigh’s Quarters
Colonel Tigh is drinking whisky. He’s down to one finger. And just when it seems he’s going to down that last shot, he pours it in his waste bucket. His wife’s picture (with the hole he burned in the image’s face in the mini) is crumpled up and joins the liquor soon thereafter.
Tigh: Well, at least I did that much.

Galactica – C.I.C. / Vipers – Space
Gaeta: Dradis contact! Cylon Raider bearing 738, carom 005!
Dualla: Galactica, Apollo. Cylon Raider bearing 738, carom 005.
Gaeta: Action stations. Action stations. Set condition one throughout the ship. Repeat: this is not a drill!
Dualla: Close in and destroy, acknowledge?
In space, the Raider is in front of Apollo and another pilot.
Apollo: We’re on it, Galactica. Jumped right in front of us… his mistake!
Tigh: How many?
Gaeta: Single Raider, looks like a recon patrol. Apollo and Beehive already have them in their sight.
Tigh: Where’s the old man?
Dualla: He’s not aboard, sir.
Tigh: Not aboard– where the hell is he?
Dualla: He left in a Raptor about an hour ago. No flight plan.
Tigh: No flight plan?
Apollo: That’s it, Beehive. You set them up, I’ll knock them down. (but after some chase, he can’t; intead…) I winged him! Looks like I got his weapons system. (but suddenly) He– he jumped! Repeat: he jumped away before we could zero him out.
Tigh: Damn it. He’s probably giving away our position to every Cylon base ship right now. Where the hell is the old man? Order the fleet to execute emergency jump procedures! Everyone rendezvous at the standby coordinates.
Gaeta: Contact! Single Raider… bearing 881, carom 247.
Dualla: Apollo, Galactica. Cylon Raider detected at 881, carom 24–
Apollo: Wait, I see him, I see him! It’s the same Raider.
Tigh: What?
Apollo: Yeah, it’s the same Raider. I can see the damage from before. It’s behaving erratically. He jumped away again!
Gaeta: Contact. Single Raider same telltales. It’s like he’s flying around in circles.
Tigh: Wounded bird can’t fly home.
Apollo: Galactica, Apollo. We’ve got him on dradis but he’s pretty far out there. It’ll take us about three minutes to close into weapons range.
Tigh: No! This is our perfect chance to get some intel. Order Apollo to close with the Raider, but do not engage. Put a Raptor in the air. As long as that thing’s flopping around out there, tell them I want to suck in every electronic signal it makes.
Dualla: Yes, sir. Colonel, Commander Adama’s Raptor is requesting permission to enter the landing pattern.
Tigh: Permission granted. Stand-down to condition two. Mr. Gaeta, you have the deck. (leaves for the hangars)

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Andromeda: S01E21: It Makes a Lovely Light

Galactica – Hangars
Adama’s Raptor enters the bay. It’s entry hatch opens to reveal Adama and a couple couple of woman’s legs can be seen sitting at his side.
Adama: Permission to come aboard, sir.
Tigh: Granted. Mind telling me where the hell you’ve been?
Adama: Colonel Tigh, allow me to present your wife.
The woman stands. It’s a blonde in a red dress. It’s Tigh’s wife.
Tigh: (elated) Ellen!

Cylon-occupied Caprica – Sewers
Things have gone to hell. Every Cylon and their motherboard are scouring Caprica City looking for Helo and Boomer. Except they’re only searching the surface, and the two are running through the sewer tunnels.
Helo: (re: the footsteps overhead) Fraking noise! I don’t get it. I’ve blown away Centurions before and they’ve never sent an entire army after me.
Caprica Boomer: They’re after me.
Helo: Why you?
Caprica Boomer: While they were holding me, I overheard some things.
Helo: What?
Caprica Boomer: Plans, deployments. A big Cylon base at Delphi, a major hub.
Helo: Delphi? Fraking bastards!
Caprica Boomer: It’s the best place to try to grab a ship and try to get off this fraking planet.
They continue their run through the nearly infinitely long tunnel.

Galactica – Baltar’s Lab / Colonial one – Presidential Area
Baltar’s phone rings. He gets it.
Baltar: Doctor Gaius Baltar, Department of Cylon Detection. How may I direct your call?
Roslin: You’re in a good mood.
Baltar: Madame President… I’m– I’m sorry, I was expecting someone else. We haven’t spoken in ages.
Roslin: Doctor, I would like you to call me the moment Commander Adama’s test is complete, will you do that?
Baltar: Commander Adama canceled his test a short time ago.
Roslin: Why?
Baltar: I don’t know, um, he gave me another sample and said it had priority.
Roslin: Whose?
Baltar: I’ll just check. (checks) Some woman called “Ellen”. No surname. He dropped it off and left. Is there a problem?
Roslin: Doctor Baltar, I would like you to resume testing Commander Adama’s blood sample immediately. Thank you.

Galactica – Tigh’s Quarters
Tigh: I can’t believe you’re alive.
Ellen: I can’t believe it myself. Saul, I don’t remember the last few weeks. It’s weeks, right?
Tigh: Right. You’ve been on the Rising Star all this time?
Ellen: I guess so. The last thing I remember is being on Picon. I was at the airport, buying a ticket home and hearing something about the Cylons. And then, just dreams, mostly dreams. Until a couple of days ago. They told me I was– I was knocked out when the Cylons attacked the airport and someone just picked me up and put me on the last flight out. Some savior, I don’t even know who.
Tigh: It’s okay, it’s all right. It’s all right, you’re here now.

Galactica – Hangars
Starbuck: Looks like we’ve found a treasure chest. I mean, one of the major issues we’ve been having with the Raider we captured is trying to figure out the faster light drive. This winter bird is jumping all over the place out there.
Tyrol: Yeah, and every time it jumps, it gives us more data we can use. But the question remains: what’s it doing out there in the first place, and how long can they keep it up?
Adama: The moment you have your F.T.L. data, give me an update.
Tyrol: Yes, sir.
Adama: Let’s not let this thing linger out there longer than we have to.
Tyrol: Yes, sir.
Apollo: (approaches) You wanted to see me, sir?
Adama: Stay on it.
Starbuck: Yes, sir.
Adama: (walks away with Apollo) Do you have dinner plans?
Apollo: What?
Adama: Come on.

Galactica – Tigh’s Quarters
Ellen: I never thought I’d see your face again.
Tigh: Me neither.
Ellen: The things I said before, the things I did–
Tigh: Shh… in the past, all in the past.
Ellen: Start over?
Tigh: Start over. I have–
Ellen: Forget it. (offers him a drink)
Tigh: I can’t, I can’t… I can’t, I’m on duty. (the phone rings, he gets it) X.O. now? Understood. Uh, all right, tell her I’m on my way. (hangs up)
Ellen: Girlfriend? (chuckles)
Tigh: Official business.
Ellen: Feels like old times.
Tigh: I’d explain, but–
Ellen: It’s classified.
Tigh: I’ll be back as soon as I can.
Ellen: (sexily) Hey… I’ll be here, waiting.
Tigh: As soon as I can. (leaves)

Colonial one – Presidential Area
Tigh: You wanna be very, very careful with what you just said. You are talking about a man I owe my life to many times over. I know these are uncertain times and this has been a difficult transition for you.
Roslin: Excuse me, Colonel. I do appreciate how difficult this is for you to hear, believe me. But I would advise you right now not to say anything that you will regret. I need to know if you have seen anything suspicious about his recent behavior.
Tigh: No.
Roslin: What about the fact that he left the Galactica without telling anyone where he was going or when he would return and at that very moment, a Cylon Raider jumped into view and started acting strangely?
Tigh: I know exactly where he was.
Roslin: You do?
Tigh: He was picking up my wife.
Roslin: Your wife?
Tigh: It turns out she’s been unconscious aboard the Rising Star ever since the attack.
Roslin: Oh, my gods. That’s fantastic, it’s amazing.
Tigh: Yes, it is. When Ellen stepped off that shuttle, I thought I was going to pass out.
Roslin: Ellen? Your wife’s name is Ellen?
Tigh: Yes, it is… Ellen. Ellen Tigh.
Roslin: (smiling) I’d very much like to meet your wife, Colonel.

Galactica – Baltar’s Lab
Baltar’s on the phone again, presumably with Roslin.
Baltar: Resume the test on Ellen? No… it’s no trouble at all.

Galactica – Tigh’s Quarters
Tigh: Ellen?
Ellen: Did you shut the door?
Tigh: I already did.
Ellen: Surprise! (shows him a bottle of green booze)
Tigh: Ambrosia. Where did you get this?
Ellen: I have my ways. I thought it might be just the thing for a little celebration.
Tigh: We need to talk.
Ellen: First things first. (pours him a glass) There. Starting over.
Tigh: Starting over. I’m technically still on duty.
Ellen: Oh, I think they can do without you for a day.
Tigh: It doesn’t really work that way.
She takes a sip from her glass and then kisses him, slipping him some directly from her mouth… and Tigh gets the thirst.
Tigh: To starting over. (downs his glass) Yes, just a little more. (reaches out his glass, which quickly gets refilled)

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Tripping the Rift: People: Malak

Galactica – Adama’s Quarters
Adama, Apollo, Roslin, Tigh and Ellen are having a nice dinner together in Adama’s quarters, complete with fine food and the ambrosia. By the way, Tigh and Ellen are already drunk.
Ellen: Sure, there’s a lot of whining and complaining, like you would expect. But the people I talked to are mostly hopeful and optimistic.
Roslin: That’s good to hear.
Ellen: Mmm… well, there are a few people who still might wonder if a kindergarten teacher is really the right person to be President, but it’s just a tiny, tiny minority.
Roslin: Wonderful, wonderful.
Ellen: Everyone is so truly, truly grateful to all of you on Galactica. You– you literally are our saviors.
Tigh: Oh, we’re just doing our jobs, that’s all.
Ellen: You are so modest. He’s always been that way. Ooh! Lee… could I trouble you for a little bit more of this lovely ambrosia?
Apollo: Sure.
Ellen: Thank you, dear. Bill, you must be so proud of your sons. Lee here has grown into such a handsome man. I can only imagine what Zak must look like now. (to Apollo) You are the spitting image of your mother, and I bet Zak takes just after his daddy.
Adama: Zak passed away a couple of years ago.
Ellen: I’m sorry. Tragic, the death of a child. There’s been so much death, so much pain… sometimes, it’s completely overwhelming. But I’m sure he was a beautiful boy.
Adama: The captain of the Rising Star was a little puzzled as to how you got on board his ship.
Ellen: Oh, I know. I know some thoughtful soul just rescued me from an almost certain death and put me on the last flight out of Picon!
Roslin: (sarcastic) How lucky for us all.
Tigh: It is, indeed.
Adama: The strange thing is, no one can recall giving you any medical assistance until about a week ago.
Ellen: Oh, I know! I know. It’s a miracle I’m alive!
Ellen, who had taken off her shoe and had been stroking Apollo’s leg with her bare foot, finally places it on his crotch. Apollo jumps back from the table.
Apollo: (covering awkwardly) Ahem, uh… I think I’d better clear some of these, uh, dishes.
Ellen: You are so sweet.
Tigh: Very good. My compliments to the chef.
Ellen: So, Bill, now, the question on everyone’s mind –and I do mean everyone– (drops some Ambrosia on the table) sorry. It’s okay. (continues with her question) Is… where’s Earth and when do we get there?
Adama: Yeah, that’s classified information.
Ellen: Oh… that word again!
Tigh: Ellen, leave the man alone.
Ellen: Well, come on, if there are no privileges of being an X.O.’s wife, then what’s the point? I mean, Bill, we’re all family here. Come on…
Adama: The need for secrecy is paramount, Ellen.
Roslin: Oh, I’m sorry. Perhaps you don’t know that the Cylons look like us, now.
Ellen: Oh, that, yes… yes, I knew that.
Roslin: It’s recent news. Most people just found out a few days ago.
Ellen: A thing like that would travel fast, right?
Adama: Any one of us can be a Cylon.
The room is thick with tension, and Ellen has a brilliant idea...
Ellen: (slamming the table) Boo!
This startles everyone, but she and Tigh laugh it off.
Ellen: (to Tigh) Did you see the looks on their faces? (to the others) You are too easy.
Adama: (stands) Thank you so much for coming. It’s been a wonderful evening.
Tigh: (to Ellen) Thought it would never end. (Ellen laughs. He gets up and does the old drunk man shuffle to the door)
Ellen: Oh… I seem to have lost one of my shoes.
Apollo: I think it’s right here. (picks it up from under his side of the table)
Ellen: Thank you.
Apollo: Here you are.
Adama: You look very, very happy.
Tigh: That’s because I am very, very happy.
Ellen: Thank you… um– oop! (pinches Apollo’s ass)
Apollo: Well, it was, uh, it was nice to see you again.
Ellen: Oh, the pleasure’s all mine. Hope to see you soon.
Apollo: I’m sure you will.
Ellen does her own drunk walk to the door, but just then…
Ellen: (to Tigh) Whoa…! Oh, wait, hang on, hang on, hang on…
…she realizes she forgot her booze. Roslin already knows it, and has grabbed the bottle and is holding it toward the door. Ellen does a extended drunk grab for the bottle.
Ellen: Bill, lovely evening. (stumbles out of the room, almost falling over)
Tigh: I’ve got her.
Adama: Be careful.
Tigh and Ellen leave.
Roslin: (to Adama) You actually think that woman is a Cylon?
Apollo: Well, if she’s not, then we’re all in a lot of trouble.

Galactica – Hallway
The two very drunk lovers walk back Tigh’s quarters.
Ellen: When did Bill become such a stick in the mud? The man’s a carving. He’s one of those faces on a totem pole.

Galactica – Adama’s Quarters
Adama: The scuttlebutt was that she slept with more than half the fleet while Saul was in space.
Apollo: Then why the hell did he stay married to her?
Roslin: It’s obvious: he loves her deeply.
Adama: Blindly. Ellen used to encourage the worst instincts in this guy. Bring out the self-destructive streak in him.
Roslin: “Used to”?

Cylon-occupied Caprica – Sewers
Helo and Boomer are still running from the Cylons. Helo has to stop to take a break.
Helo: Sharon… stop, I can’t keep up! (falls and chokes)
Boomer checks if the Cylons are still looking for them on the surface. They are.
Caprica Boomer: Helo… Helo, come on! (helps him up) Come on, you can do it! Please, you have to get up! Right there, right there. (he coughs) Turn your light off. Come on, we gotta find another way outta here. We’re going! Why aren’t you running?
Helo: You keep going and going, you never get tired.
Caprica Boomer: It’s adrenaline! I’m not gonna die here, and I’m not gonna let you die here, either! Okay, let’s go!

Galactica – Hallway
Tigh and Ellen take a break near a scaffolding.
Tigh: Don’t you worry, I’ll get us home.
Ellen: Oh, yeah, right! Just like Bill’s getting us to Earth.
Tigh: Don’t start on Bill.
Ellen: Ugh… what are you– he doesn’t have the slightest idea where Earth is!
Tigh: You don’t have to yell it through the hall.
Ellen: Bill Adama doesn’t know where Earth is! (tries to hump Tigh’s head)
All of this gets Baltar’s attention, who’s standing nearby. He approaches.
Baltar: Colonel?
Tigh: Doctor.
Ellen: Woo! (steps up to him)
Baltar: Actually, I– I don’t believe I’ve had the pleasure. I’m Doctor Gaius–
Ellen: Baltar. I know exactly who you are. And the pleasure’s all mine.
#6: Something here, isn’t there?
Ellen: You’re still holding my hand…
Baltar: That’s funny, I thought you were still holding onto mine.
Tigh: (vigilant) I’m watching you. Both of you.
#6: And you should be watching her.
Ellen: Care to join us for a nightcap, Doctor?
Baltar: I’d love to–
Gaeta: (on P.A.) Doctor Baltar, please report to the lab. The Commander is waiting for you.
Baltar: …but I can’t. Another time, perhaps?
Ellen: Count on it. Ta-ta! (he leaves) Oh, Saulie, are you– are you jealous?
Tigh: You said we were starting over.
Ellen: We are, sweetheart, we are. That was just a little bit of harmless flirting.
Tigh: No.
Ellen: Mmm. You should know something.
Tigh: What?
Ellen: In the middle of dinner… Bill put his hand on my leg.
Tigh: Ellen, I’m not falling for this.
Ellen: Did you know he came to see me on the Rising Star? (off his incredulous look) What? He’d come into my room, I’d pretend to be asleep and he’d sit by the side of my bed. And then he’d touch me–
Tigh: Why are you doing this? You’re lying.
Ellen: I am not! He was on that ship! And I’m gonna prove it. Come on! (drags him away)

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Red Dwarf: S03E01: Backwards

Galactica – Baltar’s Lab
Baltar: Look, it’s not magic, it’s science. If you want my result, you’re gonna have to wait a while.
Adama: I gave you her sample this morning.
Baltar: I have started and stopped the test twice already now, so I’m running a little behind.
Adama: Twice?
Roslin: My fault… long story.
Adama: Your fault?
Baltar: Yes, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that.
Roslin: No, you probably shouldn’t have.
Adama: Did you tell him to stop Ellen’s tests?
Roslin: Yes, I did.
Adama: Why?
Roslin: Well, I had some concerns.
Adama: About what?
Roslin: In all honesty, I think it’s fair to say that your behavior recently has been odd.
Adama: My behavior? What, do you think I’m a Cylon? Me?
Roslin: You can’t deny that you’ve been making these– what are they called…? off-log calls. These mysterious trips off the ship.
Adama: Where did you hear that? Have you been spying on me, on my own ship!
Baltar: Ladies and gentlemen, please, please. We’re in a laboratory. There are hazardous chemical compounds everywhere. That– that’s a thermo-nuclear bomb, for frak’s sake.
Apollo: What– what do you mean, unlogged– mysterious trips? What’s going on?
Adama: I had to go to the Rising Star and I didn’t want Tigh to know about it.
Roslin: Why not?
Adama: Because whether or not his wife is a Cylon, she’s nothing but trouble and I wanted to keep her away from him as long as I could.
Apollo: Well, then, why did you bring her on board the ship?
Adama: Because she’s his wife! I couldn’t refuse her access to her own husband without causing suspicion. Besides, I wanted her close to me.
Ellen: (entering with Tigh) I told you! I told you he wanted me.
Baltar: Oh, lovely.
Tigh: What the hell’s going on? You have been secretly visiting my wife?
Adama: No! Yes– but it’s complicated.
Ellen: I told you. He’s been after me for years!
Adama: What?
Ellen: Now, boys, boys, don’t fight over little ol’ me.
Roslin: Ellen, be quiet!
Ellen: No, you don’t tell me–!
Apollo: I think we should all just take a deep, deep breath.
Adama: I was afraid that she might be a Cylon. So I brought her blood over here and had it tested.
Tigh: That’s why you cancelled your test?
Adama: How’d you know about that?
Tigh: (to Roslin) You didn’t tell me he was testing my wife.
Adama: You met with the President?
Tigh: Yes. She thought you might be a Cylon.
Adama: I know.
Gaeta: (on P.A.) Attention, pass the word to the Commander, the X.O., and the C.A.G. Commander Adama, Colonel Tigh, Captain Adama, please report to C.I.C.

Galactica – C.I.C. / Vipers – Space
Adama: Mr. Gaeta.
Gaeta: The Raider smoothed out its flight plan about two minutes ago.
Apollo: It seems to be under control.
Adama: Yeah, but he’s not jumping for home.
Gaeta: No, sir, he isn’t.
Tigh: Has our reconnaissance detected any outgoing communications since it straightened out its flight pattern?
Gaeta: Yes, sir, but it’s likely it’s just another distress signal.
Tigh: Launch the alert fighters.
Apollo: (on comms) This is the C.A.G. Launch alert fighters.
Starbuck: Sir, I hate to tell you this, but I think it’s been playing with us the entire time just waiting to see how we’d react.
Adama: Playing with us?
Starbuck: Yeah.
Adama: Order the flight leader to destroy the target.
Gaeta: Yes, sir.
Hotdog: Whoa… Galactica, Hotdog. The Raider just took off! He doesn’t look injured to me.
Beehive: He’s heading back towards the fleet.
Starbuck: They’re not gonna catch him.
Gaeta: Action stations, action stations. Set condition one throughout the ship. This is not a drill.
Apollo: He doesn’t have any weapons.
Starbuck: He’s on a suicide run.
The Raider makes a kamikaze run for the Galactica and its “make-out” deck, but the Vipers destroy it before it can do any damage.
Adama: Did you launch the alert fighters?
Apollo: It was the X.O.’s call.
Tigh: I had a hunch.
Adama: Good call.

Galactica – Hallway
Tigh: one question–
Adama: Because I was worried.
Tigh: That she might be a Cylon.
Adama: And if she wasn’t. I know how you feel about her, Saul. She’s been a negative force in your life, and I’m sorry about that but it’s the truth.
Tigh: Maybe she was, everything was different then. She was different, I was different.
Adama: I’ve just grown accustomed to seeing you without the cup in your hand.
Tigh: So I had a couple of drinks tonight, I was celebrating, I think I deserved–
Adama: Yes, you did. Launching those fighters on a hunch… saved our ship.
Tigh: Just doing my job.
Adama: You do your job good. That’s why I need you, Saul. That, and that we’re friends. And I don’t want anything to come between that, not even Ellen.
Tigh: It won’t.
They shake hands on it.

Cylon-occupied Caprica – Street
The Cylons haven’t found Helo and Boomer on the surface and are taking there search to the sewers. #6 and Doral are walking down into the underground.
Doral: They’ve searched every street, every building… they slipped through, how is that possible?
#6: She thinks she loves him now, that she can’t live without him. Her passion is making her more resourceful.
Doral: It bothers you, doesn’t it?
#6: We’ll get them in the end.
Doral: No, it bothers you that you’ve never experienced it.
#6: (chuckles) You saw the way Helo was when we took her away? He was pathetic.
Doral: I can’t help wondering what it would be like to feel that intensely. Even in his anguish, he seemed… so alive.
This disturbs #6, who starts to cry.

Galactica – Baltar’s Lab
Everyone is back to find out about Ellen’s test results.
Baltar: Green. Green, everyone. Mrs. Tigh is definitely human.
Adama: No hard feelings I hope, Ellen.
Ellen: I completely understand. But let’s be sure and test you next. Doctor?
Baltar: My pleasure. My job.
Ellen: (hugs Adama, in his ear) You don’t wanna frak with me, Bill. Try to remember that.
Adama: Don’t frak with me either, Ellen.
#6: (slinking up from between Baltar’s legs, almost as if she was giving him head) If only they knew that everyone passes these days.
Baltar: Well, it’s so much simpler that way. No muss, no fuss.
#6: So… what did her test really say?
Baltar: (smiling enigmatically) I’ll never tell.
The two begin to kiss and spin around in his chair. Meanwhile everyone else in the room is oblivious to the mad scientist as they’re too busy settling their differences from the day before.

Transcript taken by Ryan Bechtel (2005)

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